David's Dresser Drawer

1 Thousand Words

2012-01-03T14:39:00.000-08:00

I just developed 2 rolls of film and only got 1 photo of note. It was worth it anyway.

15 Minutes Later

2011-12-13T13:36:00.001-08:00

We bought Tess a dog bed for her birthday to accompany the new dog which is, ostensibly, hers.

That present was opened less than an hour ago. 15 minutes later, Tess said that she would like a new dog bed for Christmas.

I'm wondering if they sell a kevlar model. Elvish chain would be even better.

Update 4 hours later: I think the upgrade will have to be crafted from dwarven plate mail. I'm confident this dog could tear through the elvish chain mail in under a day.

(Note to Phil: The astute viewer may note the presence of a very fine red oak bunk bed in the background...)

December Miscellany

2011-12-11T06:16:00.001-08:00

The year is ticking to a close. Here's a last round of photos before Christmas to close things up. Click on the photo below for the slideshow.

Micah's Christmas Gift

2011-11-23T04:41:00.000-08:00

Some of you may secretly consider Micah's lego obsession to be a bit low-brow. Fortunately, the helpful folks at Amazon have a solution...

(Update, apparently there's more)

DISCLAIMER: Please note my humor before you think about ordering. Micah's actual tastes run more to spaceships than modernist architecture.

I Thought It Was Just Me...

2011-11-21T04:45:00.001-08:00

P&P Night

2011-11-19T07:36:00.000-08:00

Some of us like watching Pride & Prejudice more than others...

Quote of the Day

2011-11-15T18:26:00.000-08:00

"Dad, I need mom to 'contact the tooth fairie' [airquotes helpfully supplied by the speaker] because I lost 2 teeth last week and she keeps forgetting to come."

--MMF

Micah's Church Outfit Today

2011-11-13T20:05:00.001-08:00

Chocolate Covered Bacon

2011-11-06T05:34:00.000-08:00

We have just returned from the reddest, "red state" extravaganza that I have ever participated in. It made a NASCAR race look like a wine and cheese party hosted by the poetry club.

The Delaware Punkin Chunk (world championship) was pure epic awesomeness.

Truly, no other country (no sensible one, anyway) would devote such time, energy and engineering to throwing a pumpkin. No one else would tackle the hard problem of spending 25 years breeding a hardier pumpkin to survive the stress of being launched into the air by trebuchets, onagers, centripitals and air cannons. (solution: use white pumpkins and feed them lime).

I now assure you that I have seen pumpkins thrown over 4000 feet. I can say this with confidence since the helpful folks from the Guinness book of world records were on hand to verify the distance with differential GPS and laser range finders.

The guys from Mythbusters were also there but we didn't see them much to the disappointment of my kids.

Words fail me so I will let the pictures speak for themselves. Click on the photo below (I've also thrown in a few Halloween shots at the end).

Random Photo

2011-11-03T15:28:00.001-07:00

Last Germany Bits

2011-11-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

I finally fixed my camera last week (go gently with me, I ordered the parts ages ago). The photo below is a link to a few remaining Germany photos that were taken after our computer was shipped out.

Happy Birthday Maddie

2011-11-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

Last week, we once again failed in keeping our children from growing up as Maddie celebrated yet another birthday.

She picked her own birthday meal. Scrambled egg burritos, black beans, chips and salsa, cake and ice cream.

My cool friend Steph helped Piper and Tess bake an awesome cake to celebrate. I discovered that when folks who are OCD enough to rack up graduate degrees in optical sciences channel their energies into baking, wonderful things can happen. The results are here.

Tess warned Maddie that her cake would be made of exotic meat. Maddie was not too pleased about the prospect but was happy with the result.

We're Back

2011-07-30T07:22:00.001-07:00

For those of you who are still tuned in.

2 days ago, we re-entered the 21st century when our internet was installed. Total time without internet: 7 weeks. 0 casualties and 0 injuries though I have some twitches that might be symptomatic of PTSD. Too soon to tell.

The good news is that we now have FIOS. My initial reaction is that I can't go back to DSL. Ever. I'm now ruined for lesser forms of high speed access.

Happy Birthday

2011-07-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Micah Anderson Apiwat.

Below is a teaser from the 5fordhams archives. The truly embarrassing photos remain safely under lock and key until we need them to embarrass you at your Senate confirmation hearings.

Vacation Quotes of the Day

2011-07-10T17:04:00.000-07:00

FIRST PRIZE

"I don't like it when Micah calls me a chicken! It makes me think that I'm stupd and dirty and that I lay eggs and that I'm not a mammal."

--Cousin Thomas. Age 7

RUNNER UP

"I know what happened to my swimsuit. Racoon's took it."

--Maddie Merrick, Age 8 (who has apparently learned the meaning of the word "hypothesis" but not the word "plausible")

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic

2011-06-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

Stolen from my friend Bob...

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" the friars to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, dude, this is so bad, it's good ...) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Quote of the Day

2011-06-25T15:54:00.001-07:00

"Let me concentrate while I slather this awesome goodness onto my bread."

--Spoken by Tess as she applied normally prohibited Jiff Peanut butter to her sandwich.

Re-entry progress

2011-06-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

1. I have work (mostly)
2. We have 1 car (mostly)
3. We have cell phones (actually an unopened box that purports to contain phones)
4. We have power (totally)

Still to come. Painters, flooring guy, internet and another car. I think we'll just keep spending the money until it runs out. That will make the kids' college planning that much easier.

IR Photos

2011-06-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

QOTD

2011-06-03T23:13:00.000-07:00

"Mom, I have a slight problem. All of my clean shirts keep disappearing and winding up crumpled on the floor."

-MM

Hmmmm. I suspect laundry fairies. It's the only plausible explanation.

Last Ever Germany Photos

2011-06-02T08:50:00.000-07:00

Frau Ford and the Fordlets leave in 3 days so my desire to blog is limited. I'm making an exception to post the last round of medium format film that came back from the developer today.

Some of these look good. Some don't. Unfortunately, I'm hampered in my ability to edit them on the hotel laptop since the display is too poor to tell the difference. I'll try to clean them up in a week or two when I can get onto a better computer.

Click here for slideshow.

Words fail so I'll end our adventure here. Thank you for virtually joining this wonderful part of our lives here in Deutschland..

Sigh

2011-05-28T02:01:00.000-07:00

Darn you RSA. Could you not have waited until after I moved back to the US to compromise my data?

Last European Photos

2011-05-23T23:25:00.001-07:00

I'm home--taking a break from packing--to post the last photos of our last European fling. Packers come tomorrow. Movers on Wednesday. Wish us luck.

Click on the boat for photos.

Home from the Wars

2011-05-22T11:01:00.001-07:00

We are home from our final European fling.

Post to follow when my luggage (& camera) returns.

All is well, however. The movers come in 3 days so we're a little preoccupied with that. It's amazing how much detritus accumulates in a 1000 sqft apartment.

More Photos

2011-05-10T11:19:00.001-07:00

I'm posting photos of the past several weekend trips; Dresden, Garmish & Austria.

There will be no photos of Berlin. As it turns out, Berlin is quite an ugly city that is unworthy of your attention.

Click here to view.

Quote of the Day

2011-04-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

Overheard from the next room:

Tess: "Micah, we're going to have a little talk and this talk might involve pain..."

... should I be worried?

For the Grandparents.

2011-04-25T23:31:00.001-07:00

Hmmmm. (Stolen from a comic that I read...)

We just returned from a long-weekend in East Germany. I'll try to post pictures after the throbbing and cramps in my right (accellerator/brake-pedal) leg diminish.

QOTD

2011-04-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

Turning your back on a 6-year-old with a roll of scotch tape in his hand is nearly as stupid as fighting a land war in Asia in wintertime.

-Me

Jenga

2011-04-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

The creators of the game Jenga say that it is suitable for children ages 6 and up.

They are wrong.

Orange

2011-04-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

Back when we were first beginning our ninja phase, we enrolled the kids in a local German Karate club. It seemed a good fit since karate is similar to ninjitsu once you omit the caltrops, poison and throwing stars. The senior partners here at 5fordhams happily approved those curriculum modifications.

Last weekend, Tess finally took the test for her orange belt. Photo-documentary of this event is sparse since she threatened to eviscerate me with her ninjitsu if she saw me take any pictures.

I did but fortunately she didn't. This was a happy occurence since she's now an orange belt and could probably disable me with her left thumb.

Possibly those skills will be useful when I let her start dating (in 15 years).

Click the photo below.

Quote of the Day

2011-04-14T09:48:00.003-07:00

Me: "Tess, are these clean clothes yours?"

T: "No. I don't wear shirts with trucks on them."

Pardon this post, I'm off my meds tonight...

2011-04-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

Maddie is reading aloud to me tonight before bed. I want to have fun with the experience but I'm too disturbed that Robin Hood is such a socialist. Seriously. Am I doing damage to my daughter's long term development by letting her read this?

I miss the talking animals and gingerbread houses. Those I could get into.

New digression:

The word of the day at 5fordhams LLC is Camazotz. Please don't be alarmed. This is one of the small side effects that occurs when nerdy parents raise nerdy children. Other side effects include itching, runny noses and unexplainable desires to sleep on mattresses under the stairs.

Conversation of the Day

2011-04-11T10:13:00.001-07:00

Me: "Micah, do you have homework tonight?"

Micah: "Yes."

Me: "When is it due?"

Micah: "Thursday."

Me: "In 3 days?"

Micah: "No, Thursday last week."

...Fortunately, I hear that state schools are much cheaper than Harvard.

Oh Happy Day

2011-04-01T00:03:00.001-07:00

Tess was quite excited to go to school today. She stayed up late last night (by herself) making a batch of sugar cookies rolled in salt vice sugar. She fed her creations to the family at breakfast. They were outrageously bad.

Who owns the Fish

2011-03-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

After 30 minutes on my bed with a pencil & paper, Tess has decided (correctly) that the German owns the fish.

She's pretty excited. I shall try not to let it go to her head.

This is from a pretty famous logic problem in case you don't get the reference.

More Museums

2011-03-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

We've spent a wonderful few months of staying close to home, largely because of waning trust in our new van.

Assured by the mechanics that the van is running fine (although the maintenance required light continues to turn on for inexplicable reasons whenever it is reset), we trekked to Karlsruhe yesterday.

We wandered around the palace grounds and took the kids to the media museum. Fortunately, the media museum is *much* cooler than it sounds.

Click on the picture for the slideshow...

Quote of the Day

2011-03-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

"Nowhere in the 10 commandments does it say not to hit your little brother."

-Maddie Merrick

Fasching

2011-03-04T23:31:00.000-08:00

The kids' school celebrated Fasching yesterday which meant that everybody got to dress up. Here they are before school:

Quote of the Day

2011-03-03T21:55:00.000-08:00

Daddy... Did you know that everybody has germs. I have less because I'm littler. You have alot.

-Micah Anderson
Age 6

Only for the bold

2011-02-05T00:04:00.000-08:00

This game is based on an xkcd webcomic.

For Buell

2011-02-01T06:52:00.000-08:00

New Hairstyles

2011-01-30T00:26:00.001-08:00

A Thousand Words

2011-01-30T00:25:00.001-08:00

Out with the Old, In with the New

2011-01-29T04:16:00.000-08:00

My woodshop adventures continue.

Many years ago, Piper had a welder make a great bed for us out of 2 wrought iron gates. Sadly, our house at Cliveden estates wouldn't allow that bed up the stairs so we sold it.

So we slept on a mattress on the floor for longer than I like to admit before picking up a second hand bed from friends. The old bed was a rickety marvel. I am amazed that it survived (sort of) 3 years of the kids jumping on it.

Last November, I received spousal dispensation to build a new one. It moved in today. I'm pretty sure that it's built to last. German Ash is not a frail wood.

Pictures are here.

I thought it was just me...

2011-01-15T22:49:00.000-08:00

London & Stuff

2011-01-15T04:39:00.000-08:00

Posting has been light since Christmas though we've been quite busy.

Last weekend, we returned from a trip to England to see family and visit London. It was quite a merry adventure that ended when we returned to a malfunctioning car in Frankfurt. We limped home in a rental and drove back yesterday to pick up our van. We'll be having our mechanic look at it down here so I suspect our driving will be limited for a few days.

Spring travel plans are indeterminate. I have a 5-day home leave to use before our return to the US in June. We hope to use that somewhere here in Europe (Piper votes for someplace warm).

Click here for photos of England. I'll try to caption them soon.

Yay Christmas

2010-12-25T05:18:00.000-08:00

Christmas is here. It's the whitest on 5fordhams record. We have received nearly 12" of snow since yesterday so we're spending the day indoors.

Click on the view from my window to see the slideshow.

Daisy Daisy

2010-12-13T10:32:00.000-08:00

I watched this movie on TV with my father when I was around 8 (what was he thinking). Anyway, this song and this scene are what's playing in my head now. You can surmise that my head is not a happy place to be.

Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do.
I'm half crazy all for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet,
Upon the seat,
Of a bicycle made for two.

Thanksgiving by the numbers

2010-11-28T08:57:00.000-08:00

We celebrated Thanksgiving on Sunday.

17-pound turkey

14 potatoes (mashed)

10 different dishes

9 children

6 adults

4 pies

3 families

1 bathroom

So many things to be thankful for, including... Logan and Heidi's engagement!! Congratulations.

Trunk is Done

2010-11-21T12:43:00.000-08:00

The trunk is finished. I'll start this week on a new bed. Also thinking about a kitchen table.

School Field Trips

2010-11-11T10:06:00.001-08:00

Today, Micah and Maddie made the annual school field trip to a nearby chocolate factory. The highlight of this trip is the opportunity to design your own chocolate bar. Choose your chocolate, specify additional accouterments and pour into the mold. It's far cooler than picking the toppings for ice cream.

Pause now for parenthetical but relevant digression. Speaking of ice cream, my oldest daughter long ago learned to choose carefully when ordering ice cream. Pick chocolate or vanilla and her dessert was likely to be taxed by a certain blog writer. Choose more strategically and the bowl would be hers and hers alone. These days, she's partial to mint. Bleck.

Anyway, back to my point. Micah made 2 lovely dark chocolate candy bars filled with sprinkles, smarties and jelly beans. He offered them to Piper and I for dessert after dinner tonight. We opted to pass.

Tomorrow, Tess has a field trip to an Astronomy school in Heidelberg. I'm signed up to escort. Yippee.

Photos and Random Happenings

2010-11-07T03:03:00.001-08:00

First, a commercal. I have been given a kindle and my uncle Bob is publishing a book. The cosmic balance of the universe appears to be in balance. I'm impatient to buy a copy. Uncle Bob, who is freaky articulate for a math nerd, has been maddeningly silent on the plot these past 2 years.

4 members of teamfordham survived halloween with no casualties or injuries though the sugar rush has not yet abated. Piper took the evening off to see a show with a German friend. Quite clever of her to plan that out 2 months in advance, I will admit.

We are freshly back from Belgium and Luxembourg. I'm still a bit twitchy from driving our American van through tiny European streets for 3 days.

Piper bought the kids gourmet Belgian waffles with chocolate sauce while we were in Belgium. Maddie pronounced my Bisquick waffles superior. You can't buy loyalty like that. I'll bask in that memory of that praise until she hits puberty and her taste buds mature.

A new record was set during this trip when the kids enjoyed not one but two different museums. Normally, they find museum tours to be mind-numbingly boring grown-up stuff. The chocolate museum in Belgium and the Military History museum near Bastogne were both declared exceptions. Sadly, they were less amused by the 3-hour tour of Luxembourg (in the rain).

Here are photos.

Happenings

2010-11-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

Piper has successfully survived the first 3 days of the fall break with absolutely no assistance from her deadbeat husband. We are off to Beglium tomorrow for 3 days. Piper has decreed that it is time for for her to learn to order Cappuccino in Flemish.

Maddie survived an interview with a prospective violin teacher. She was accepted as a student. Alas, fortune did not smile equally upon her violin and it was deemed unworthy. Piper is off to the store to rent a better one.

Beglium update to follow next week. Also, I have Halloween pictures that I promise to post.

Halloween Costume Advice for the Kids

2010-10-31T00:14:00.000-07:00

Kids,

At first glance, the black ninja costume seems much cooler than the pink princess outfit. This I admit is true.

However, you should consider the ramnifications of your costume decisions in advance. For instance, it's much easier for a parent to misplace a black ninja on a crowded street on a pitch black night (...one could argue that is the intended purpose of the black ninja outfit).

Further, the pink princess outfit can be counted on to elicit a certain amount of parental sympathy when you start crying as your sugar rush fades.

Finally, if you choose the pink princess outfit you won't need to worry about your little brother taking your katana and hitting people with it.

Remember: with great coolness comes great responsibility. Choose wisely...

Quote of the Day

2010-10-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

Me: "Welcome home, Micah. Tell me about your day."
Micah: "Good."
Me: "Can you include a verb in your description."
Micah: "No."

It looks like he's progressing well on the path to male conversational stereotypes.

In Memorium

2010-10-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

Here's to you, Alexander Anderson. Thank you for making my kids laugh so hard that milk came out their nose.

Birthday Quote of the Day

2010-10-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

"Of all the presents that I got, I think the ninja sword is the one that I'll use the most."

--Maddie Merrick, age 8
New owner of a lap desk, dolphin backpack, pink foam ninja sword and bicycle

Piper would like to add that Maddie's bicycle is the only 24" Specialized girls bike with factory flower decals in southern Germany. The full saga of our questing for this bicycle will one day be chronicled in the oral history of our people. But not today.

Click here for photos of the weekend.

Raising the next generation of shoppers

2010-10-22T12:17:00.000-07:00

Maddie: "Mommy, can I buy that fuzzy turtle with my allowance please?"

Piper: "You know Maddie, there are lots of fluffy things in the world..."

Maddie: "Yes, but that turtle is one of them."

Hmmm. Not sure how to argue with logic like this.

What's in your wallet?

2010-10-21T23:26:00.000-07:00

Today is a teacher conference day so the kids are off school. We're off to an amusement park.

The contents of Maddie's travel back-pack.

1 Ninja Sword
1 Ninja Costume
1 Portable bathroom (not sure about this one)
1 Stuffed animal
1 Water bottle
1 Toy gun
1 blow gun

We are, apparently, ready for every sort of hardship or adversary. Wish us luck.

New Day, New Quote

2010-10-09T00:55:00.000-07:00

"The key, Micah, is to maximize surface area. This is why we cut the waffle before pouring syrup on it."

Uncle Kevin K.
Teaching Micah how to get the most syrup possible onto his waffle

Quote of the Day

2010-10-08T12:09:00.001-07:00

"In every grown up movie, there is too much kissing. If I made a movie, there would maybe be a hug but that is all."

-Maddie Merrick

Spoken after she was forced to endure the sight of Han Solo kissing Princess Leia yet again.

Longing for a taco

2010-10-07T22:24:00.000-07:00

One of the things we really miss here is good Mexican food. It was with some eagerness that I saw a local take-out place has a Mexican section on the menu. Then I read, "Chili con Carne: Scharfer mexikanischer Bohneneintopf dazu Pizzabrot" which is spicy bean soup on pizza bread.

The search continues...

Google's German Unity Day Logo

2010-10-02T23:47:00.000-07:00

This was cool...

Today's Mail

2010-09-29T12:14:00.000-07:00

Family members are once again massing in the town square with pitchforks to demand pictures of the kids. Below are a few cuts of film that I just had developed.

I'm experimenting with infra-red. Most of the black and white pictures are shot in the near IR which is why the trees look white. (pedigree for my remote sensing co-workers: 715nm cut-on, FWHM at 720 and 750nm).

Most of the pictures are from our weekend in Copenhagen last month. Click on the photo to view the slideshow.

Return

2010-09-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

My repatriation is officially scheduled for 1 June 2011.

Yay.

End of summer catch up...

2010-09-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

The Black Forest:
We caught a rare rain-free weekend in August for the Black Forest. It was stunning to walk through the woods and along the rivers near Forbach in the northern national park.
Highlights:
--Any time we go hiking with the Schmitserwitzes is a good time (and it wasn't even raining this trip).
--Going on a 1.5 kilometer Rodelbahn
--Black forest cake and ice cream
--visiting a glassblowing museum and having the kids take turns making vases
--driving what was apparently a goat track to get to the youth hostel. When they said it was in the woods, it was really in the woods

Click on the photo of Forbach for more images

Denmark

2010-08-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

We are winding down a 5 day weekend in Denmark with a friend of Piper's father. It has been a charming, wonderful time. We all want to move here.

Stefan clearly has alot in common with Piper's father. He handed over the keys to his beach house (a tiny, 200 year old cottage with a thatched roof) after inventorying the kitchen with us. He left us a minimal supply of vegetables, a large loaf of meat substance and several cases of beer. Clearly a man who knows what's most important.

I'll include a longer update after we're home and I can download photos. Also, when I don't have to struggle through the Danish keyboard layout trying to figure out how to type simple words.

An ever so brief update

2010-08-24T05:56:00.001-07:00

Apologies to those who I've been ignoring for the past week (it's a long list). Things got out of hand with work, evening cub scout camp and a long list of weekend activities.

They culminated this morning with a trip to the US Consulate in Frankfurt (280 mi round trip) to pick up a new passport.

On a sidenote, my work tempo resulted in an interesting finding. It's been 5 days since I've logged into facebook and I haven't experienced any withdrawal symptoms.

Visiting the US Consulate was on par with a trip to the dentist. On the "annoyance" scale, this puts it far below a trip to the DMV but slightly above a service call from my German telephone provider.

We're off for the rest of the week. I'll be using up the last of my vacation helping the kids bid adieu to summer. School starts next week.

Piper has photos to post but I don't think I'll have time to upload them until next week.

I am considering disabling the comments capability for the blog. What say you?

Paris

2010-08-08T13:36:00.000-07:00

Matcy (hereby referred to as La Matcie) bravely took her youngest daughter and youngest grandchildren for a jaunt to Paris. It was a great three days out on the town.

Highlights and quotes:
--"Mommy, we could never be Paris people. Paris people don't go to bed this early." This spoken by a seven-year-old after she was out for a 23:00 snack with La Matcie. She was so wired by the excitement of the city that there was no getting her contained in a hotel room while the cafes were still crowded.

--"Look! A famous thing." said at every monument.

We bought two-day tickets on the double-decker, open-topped bus and used it as our taxi to get around. It takes a while to get places, but how else are you going to learn that there are 2.5 million rivets in the Eiffel Tower?
Touring around Notre Dame and Ile de la cite took the whole of day one. It is amazing how long it can take one to get through souvenir shops with children who have 10 euros each that they must spend RIGHT NOW. Out to Place du Trocadero that night to see the Eiffel Tower shimmer.

Day 2 was the gardens of Tuileries. So beautiful. We were going to head up to Sacre Coeur, but MM fell off of a high wall, landing on her head and necessitating a taxi ride back to the hotel to monitor for signs of bad things. She had rallied enough by nightfall to join TG and I on a climb up to the Arc de Triumph.

Wednesday morning we finally made it to Montmarte. Sacre Coeur is my favorite church of the large architectural marvels of the city. Perhaps because it feels more like a church of a living faith instead of an amazing, beautiful museum of what people used to believe.
Chatted with great people on the train. On the way up, an engineering student from China and a business student from the Basque country (referred to Spain as "they." I didn't ask him what he thought about the ETA). Rode back with a Hungarian student financing his studies as a folk dance instructor.

Click on the photo for a slide show.

More Photos

2010-07-22T16:23:00.001-07:00

I have an old-time twin lens reflex camera that I sometimes shoot with. It doesn't have much going for it. It's film, not digital. Expensive, quirky, hard-to-find film. It's inconvenient, expensive to use and heavy. The 1970's vintage construction is totally mechanical and the focal length was carefully chosen to ensure equally sub-optimal performance in a wide range of real world situations. Developers shake in fear when I show them the exposed rolls I need processed.

It is a demanding mistress. I carry it into all kinds of fantastic places, spend hours setting it up, and manually composing the shot on glass.. Sometimes, at the end of it all, it takes a great picture. It's basically gambling so I'm sure that somewhere, there's a 12 step group waiting to help me manage this addiction.

Click on the TLR to see the latest round of pictures.

Vacation Photos

2010-07-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

I arrived home safely this morning after a long but uneventful trip. I didn't get any sleep on the plane so my day has been consumed with a variety of mindless ephemera chosen to distract me from taking a nap and further bludgeoning my sleep cycle. Mostly, I spent the day at work. Mostly.

My latest pursuit has been compiling random vacation photos to put on the blog. Click on Laguna fireworks below to see the slideshow. Thanks to all of the folks who helped us have fun this summer.

DISCLAIMER: Given my current mental condition, all photos are in random order without captions. I'll try to tidy up later.

Bad News.

2010-07-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

Oh no, he's retiring. I suspect my wife will be in mourning for the near future.

Reader Contest

2010-07-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

Tell me what this dream symbolizes.

Maddie dreamed that she was playing outside a house and talking to Benjamin Franklin. Precise details are sketchy up until the point where she ran inside and Benjamin Franklin was eaten by a lion.

Sort of disturbing in a Terry Gilliam / Tim Burton / Neil Gaiman sort of way.

Perhaps we should ratchet back her intake of British bed-time stories.

Waterpark Quotes of the day

2010-07-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

FIRST PRIZE
Entered in the "You keep using that word; I don't think it means what you think it means" category.

"I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Let's do it again!!"
-Maddie Merrick

RUNNER UP
Entered in the "Now I'm quite certain you don't know what that word means" category.

"What if we went down that slide in a tire instead of an inner tube."
-Micah Anderson

World Cup detox

2010-07-14T16:20:00.001-07:00

I got a little excited about the World Cup this year. Some would say that I went off-the-deep-end bonkers. I retort that the face paint and nail polish come off (eventually), and I can use the shirts to run in. I find myself perusing YouTube late into the night looking for video good scores or memorable misses.

The business reporter part of me will miss the Tim Howard-like stretch of German companies to get a soccer ball on their product.
--Soccer balls on shampoo bottles (to wash out all the temporary hair dye).
--Special WC savings accounts offered at the banks.
--Bakeries selling pound cake dyed like the German flag
--hard boiled eggs at the grocery store dyed either like the German flag or decorated like soccer balls.
--"Half-time snack packs" of yogurt: tapioca, chocolate and strawberry.
--Soccer car flags as a special give-away at restaurants.
--The South Africa WC logo on shopping bags.

My favorite was at a sushi stand: soccer balls made from round rice balls with bits of nori

It was great to support the US and German teams. I wish I could have done so longer. But it's over now and four years is a long time. I'll have to stop wandering aimlessly through the halls looking for the schedule for the next game. It's a good thing the Bundesliga starts soon...

Culinary Happenings

2010-07-09T19:42:00.000-07:00

Barbequed shark for dinner with a side of barracuda.

The children were not amused.

Random Thoughts

2010-07-03T12:10:00.001-07:00

Quote of the day:

"Now I know how my mother feels..."

--Maddie's reaction after being sent to the counter to handle restaurant orders for the family. She was not amused by all the special orders and modifications that she was expected to keep track of.

We are safe in CA after nearly 24 hours of travel. Prior to the trip, I was given a precious horde of several tablets of Ambien. As a result, I had high hopes that the flight would be uneventful. Unfortunately, the ability of the tablet to put me to sleep was exceeded by the ability of my five year old to keep me awake.

World cup madness continues. Since Germany won this morning, it will be at least a few days until my family returns to normalcy. 4 hours later, my kids are still sporting face paint of German flags on their cheeks.

Fair and Balanced Reporting from 5fordhams

2010-06-24T11:40:00.001-07:00

I am pleased to introduce today's guest correspondent, "Crotchety Dave." Dave brings us the following quote on World Cup Soccer. Given the utter madness that has consumed my house since the world cup began (has anybody seen my wife in the past week?), I thought it fair to include an opposing opinion.

//QUOTE:

Any sport that
A- celebrates a tie
B- often has the inferior team win 1-0 by dint of dumb luck
C- rewards low melodrama 'I'm hurt' antics
D- is hugely dependant on penalties for any scoring at all, and
penalizes dumb luck like having a ball bounce off your arm
E- considers blindly kicking the ball to the other end of the field good
strategy

...is inherently suspect...

//UNQUOTE

Sorry Dave. You wouldn't last 5 minutes here in Germany.

Quote of the Day

2010-06-21T22:35:00.001-07:00

"What is that??"

--The question separately asked by each of my 3 children when they saw a pot roast in our crock pot after school.

For those viewers who have just joined our regularly scheduled programming, I should explain that my wife is a quasi vegetarian. Sightings of 10 lb bricks of meat in our kitchen only occur during rare astrological confluences, holidays, or visits from out of town relatives.

Quote of the weekend

2010-06-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

"Good. I hope we find more human remains."

--Maddie. Upon being informed that we were going back to Hohentwiel castle

Full disclosure: The editors would like to point out that the "human remains" Maddie found in the dungeon of Hohentwiel castle during our last visit were, in fact, sheep bones. Also, I suspect the "dungeon" was a medieval root cellar or somesuch. But don't tell Maddie or you'll quash her twisted sense of joy.

Morning meetings

2010-06-19T01:42:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it that the Januzzi clan is now snaking its way south along the autobahn to rendezvous here in Stuttgart.

The weather is bleak. To capture the moment, I think that Piper and her sister should meet on a bridge, wearing grey trench-coats for the planned exchange of prisoners (or nieces and nephews, whichever you prefer).

Oops

2010-06-16T11:22:00.001-07:00

Turns out that my mother in law is not coming today because Piper misread her itinerary.

Fortunate for me. I got to eat an awesome dinner in a spotlessly shiny house.

The Team of the Day

2010-06-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

A Thousand Words

2010-06-13T14:04:00.001-07:00

Father's Day is Early!

2010-06-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

We have company next weekend so my family celebrated father's day a week early.

Quote of the day:

"This morning, our focus is on daddy. This evening, our focus is on soccer."

-- Micah Anderson (age 6)

It's time to check my shed for pods...

2010-06-11T08:42:00.001-07:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"Honey, I love you for buying this television"

-- Piper (while watching world cup soccer)

... UPDATE

Definitely pods. She let the kids eat dinner in the living room in front of the TV.

What Piper is Watching

2010-06-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

What is happening to me.

2010-06-06T08:18:00.001-07:00

I now own a pair of reading glasses. What's happening to me? When do I start walking around in shorts with black socks pulled up to my knees?

Saturday Plans

2010-06-05T00:18:00.000-07:00

Chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. I am--briefly--a hero. I stride upon the earth as a Nephilim of old. Soon this will pass but until then I bask in the radiant gratitude of my children. It is amazing how much appreciation can be squeezed into a small bag of processed sugar.

Tonight, I have spousal permission to torment my children. My plan is to let them watch Han Solo frozen into carbonite. It has been decided that my first choice (Raiders of the Lost Ark) is problematic since we live in Germany.

I've beaten Tess in her last 5 chess games. Unfortunately, she's quickly getting better and will soon be unstoppable. I think that I'll have to get cousins Brigg and Barnes to teach her some humility this summer (5 years of chess club should be sufficient for that). Without these preventive measures, she could become insufferable during her teenage years.

Hmmm. So this was my mistake.

2010-06-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

SOLD

2010-06-02T07:17:00.001-07:00

I was told moments ago that my engineering group is being sold.

No data on who my new owner is. I hope their vacation policy isn't as stingy.

UPDATE: It seems that I'm not supposed too worry because we're only being divested, not sold. However, they add that the reason for divestiture is to sell us off so apparently it's the same thing.

More from Prague

2010-05-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

To add to your Olympic DVD collection, the water park slide event...

What are they teaching in school these days?

2010-05-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

Today, Maddie had her class presentation for a unit on "Kings, Queens and Castles."

Maddie had not been very excited about this unit until she realized that she could present on Japanese castles. Japanese castles, it turns out, are much cooler than the proletariat fare here in Europe. The castle she picked, Osaka castle in Japan, had a solid gold tea room and gold dolphins and tigers on the exterior. Very cool.

More importantly, it was attacked many times by ninjas.

Below is a photo of Maddie with the special guest she located for the presentation. Any similarity between said guest and members of 5fordhams LLC is purely coincidental.

Maddie did an awesome job. The class was fairly... *energetic*. By the end of the 20 minute presentation, I was ready to throw down with anybody who doesn't think that teachers deserve summers off.

Saturday Update

2010-05-29T00:48:00.000-07:00

Life continues. Last weekend, I spent roughly 35 hours in planes and airports while heading home to see my parents. It was awesome seeing my parents but I've decided that I'd rather rather visit the dentist than fly Delta airlines transatlantic. I need to find a pusher who can get me a subscription for Ambien... or switch to Lufthansa.

This weekend, we're hanging out here. The girls had a sleepover with their Japanese friends last night. They were all quite giggly as they settled into Grandma's feather bed.

There they are--4 girls and Maddie's assorted stuffed marine life. Speaking of which, Maddie has a new stuffed Dolphin named Nietsche. Nietsche, it turns out, is Japanese for rainbow. Possibly you'll notice that I've taken some liberties with the spelling but the pronunciation is the same. (Late Entry: The family linguists have now pointed out that the pronunciation isn't exactly the same but it's close enough for my American ears).

I quite like their friends. They're teaching Tess and Maddie to make beautiful origami and do Japanese calligraphy. Our kids are teaching them to make loud noises and play cops and robbers. All in all, an even trade I think.

Career Development

2010-05-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

Maddie has made great progress in her career goals in the past few weeks. I blame this movie.

Now she wants to be a ninja. This week, she started working on her next school presentation on Osaka castle, apparently motivated by the fact that the castle was once attacked by ninjas. Tonight after dinner, we made grappling hooks for said presentation. Several unlucky coat hangers were euthanized during construction operations.

Anybody know where I can find her some black pajamas (please, no throwing stars).

What do you want to be when you grow up...

2010-05-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

Running the kids to their church group tonight. The theme tonight is to dress in the costume of what you want to be when you grow up.

Tess chose to dress up as a policemen.

Maddie picked a dolphin trainer.

Micah decided to dress up as Barack Obama.

Hmmm. Care to place bets on which goes over best at our Baptist church.

Tulip Photos

2010-05-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

Sadly, no windmills were harmed during the making of these photos ... sorry Alison.

Click the flower for slideshow.

Quote of the Day

2010-05-02T13:15:00.000-07:00

Tess: "Good night daddy. Thank you so much for not crashing the car into a tree while it was dark and rainy and you were driving with everybody asleep."

Ummm. I suppose it's good to know that they don't take the little things for granted.

This is, obviously, my oblique way of saying that we just arrived home safely. Given the mess on the floor, I suspect pictures are a few days away.

UPDATE: For those of you who submitted votes. The windmills lost but we did see plenty of tulips.

We're to to see the... to be determined

2010-04-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, we leave for the Netherlands where my wife has made great plans to see the tulips in bloom. I'm moderately excited since their tulip crop is world renowned. That said, flowers are kind of a girly thing so I'm starting to scheme for a chance to see some windmills.

Windmills, as this article points out, are chock full of all kinds of cool engineering minutia and design trades. Much geekier than flowers. For added nerd enjoyment, I may also try to look at some dikes. I know at least one five year old boy who would love to stick his finger in one.

I'll try to have photos next week. What will be in those photos is yet to be determined.

Sticks and Stones

2010-04-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

My oldest is developing a gift for veiled understatement.

Me: "Why does it make me nervous that Maddie wants to make a slingshot?"

Tess: "I have no idea. Does it have something to do with the fact that she and Micah argue alot?"

Against my judgment, I assist this endeavor. Raising up a future generation of nerds requires some dedication and a minor tolerance for risk. We sacrificed an industrial rubber band, a stick and a bit of duct tape to build the thing. Maddie is off to the woods to test fire it. Here's hoping that my homeowner's deductibles having risen by tomorrow morning.

(50 minutes later)

Update. Maddie is back from the park and the slingshot didn't work. Thank goodness. Hopefully tomorrow's dangerous goal will be something that doesn't assume good aim around other people's cars (like mixing dynamite for instance).